


Love Speaks at Midnight

by Andsoshewrites



Category: Dead Poets Society (1989)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-14
Updated: 2016-05-14
Packaged: 2018-06-08 11:25:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,193
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6852712
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Andsoshewrites/pseuds/Andsoshewrites
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Neil always has ideas and fanaticisms.</p><p>(a night that a bullet prevented)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Love Speaks at Midnight

“Todd.”

The response is a groan, low and drawn out. Todd flips over in his bed, now facing away from the source of the word. Normally, he and Neil would be in the same bed, and therefore, Todd wouldn’t be able to move around so much, but today—as it has just struck twelve—is Neil’s birthday, and people will surely be bursting in to pounce on Neil’s bed and give him birthday wishes in the morning. “Todd,” Neil tries again; Todd doesn’t understand why whatever Neil wants to talk to him about can’t wait another six or seven hours or so.

“Neil,” Todd calls back finally, never quite able to resist him and knowing he won’t leave him alone now that he knows he’s awake. He keeps his eyes closed, though, waiting to see if whatever Neil wants to talk about warrants their opening.

“I’m eighteen,” Neil says, and Todd furrows his brow, eyes still closed.

“I know you are, Neil, happy birthday.”

“I’m an adult—”

"Yes?"

"—and so are you."

“Yeah? I know, Neil.” Todd cracks one eye open and then the other, which serves as little more than a physical indicator that he’s intrigued considering the blackness of the room. He flips back over so that he’s facing Neil, who’s lying down but staring up at the ceiling with a bright, wide smile on his face. It’s always nice to see Neil smiling—really, genuinely smiling; Todd always feels like he’s going to slip away, to return to that place that he was at last year and never come back: he almost hadn’t come back last year. Todd can’t ever remember feeling more terrified and broken in his life.

The thought makes Todd feel dizzy and his mouth a little too dry, so he focuses back on Neil, in the present, where he is perfectly okay and even smiling, surely thinking of something wonderful that he hasn’t quite divulged to Todd yet. He’s now turned his head so that he’s looking at Todd, and there is complete and utter adoration in his eyes, just barely visible by the predilection of the moon. Todd knows the look rather well, and initially, it had made him feel embarrassed and unworthy. Now, the look makes him feel warm and safe, alright in the world. Happy.

“Let’s get married.”

 It’s not high up on the list of things Todd had expected. He looks over at Neil, trying to find any indications that he’s joking; he doesn’t see any.

Todd props himself up on one elbow and looks at Neil in scrutiny. “What?” he asks, hoping with enough of a dramatic pause.

“Let’s get married,” Neil repeats, perfectly aware that Todd had heard him.

“Neil, we _can’t_.”

“Yeah, legally. But that doesn’t mean that we can’t get married.” Neil sits up in his bed and turns all the way toward Todd. “Listen, we could buy some rings and have a little thing—maybe with like, the Dead Poets and stuff—and just…pledge our love for each other, or something.” Neil laughs at himself a little, “That was really sappy, wasn’t it?” There’s a small pause while Todd tries to wrap his brain around what Neil just said, and Neil says, “And then, one day, we can get married for real, when it’s legal.”

That’s a whole new thought to add to the ones currently swirling around in Todd’s head; he’s never really considered the possibility that same gender marriage could ever become legal. He supposes that similar things have been worked up to, but he’s never even thought about it, not when he first has to think about keeping himself under check all the time, monitoring his every word and move, paying attention to every public interaction he has with Neil. “How are _we_ gonna afford to buy rings? We can’t exactly tell my parents what we want them for,” Todd says instead of any other possible response he could give because he’s always been like this: asking questions about the smallest details, trying to account for every possibility.

“God, who _cares_ about the rings, Todd?” Neil whisper-hisses, “I’d wrap a few blades of grass around your finger if I had to!” Neil gets out of his bed and does his best to dive onto Todd without making much noise. “It’s just about being together and being in love, Todd! That’s what marriage _should_ be about.”

“Is Keating gonna be our minister?” Todd asks, stalling now. He stares up at Neil, breathing softly and admiring the indistinct, undetailed features he can make out in the dark. Everything about Neil is so beautiful, even in such a basic form as Todd can currently see. Todd is in love with everything about him, down to the way his hair flops and his breathing.

“That’s a great idea!” Neil puts his face right next to Todd’s, kisses his cheek, and smiles, “How about it, Todd? Will you—oh, I know!” Neil hops off the bed and gets down on one knee, holding up his hands as if there was a ring box in them. Todd laughs.

“Todd Anderson,” Neil starts, first with a stuffy, over-exaggerated inflection, then shifting to a regular, sincere tone with his following words, “you are the most amazing person I have ever met. There’s no one else who I would rather spend my life with, and there never will be. I love you so much; I’m not good at improv at twelve AM; will you marry me?” Todd laughs and covers his face with his hands, feeling absolutely giddy and completely overjoyed. Here he is, Todd Anderson, quiet, shy, and anxious, living in the shadow of his brother, and he has completely beguiled Neil Perry, personable and vivacious, the star of Welton, now proposing to him with a phantom ring.

He’s in love. Totally and irrevocably.

He knew that already.

“Yes,” Todd says, “of course.” Neil smiles in a dazzling, unadulterated way that makes Todd’s heart flutter and hops back into Todd’s bed, this time crawling into his lap, cradling his face in his hands, and kissing him soundly. They start to giggle sometime during the kiss, and when it deepens they just start to giggle more, getting spit all over each other’s lips with accidental, glee-filled misswipes of their tongues. Pulling away from each other, they sit with their foreheads pressed together, smiling. Out of the corner of his eye, Todd sees that it’s nearing one AM now, and he says, “I’m gonna be so tired in the morning.”

“Yeah, but you’ll also still be engaged to me, so, is it worth it?”

“Definitely.” Todd shoves at Neil lightly, “Get back in your own bed, though. I wanna sleep.” Neil kisses Todd gently on the forehead and does as he is told.

Once he’s finally begun to settle down, Neil says, “Goodnight, fiancé.”

“Goodnight, loser,” Todd responds, and Neil snorts into his pillow.

They think about the interaction and their small, unofficial first wedding when they legally get married in the summer of 2008 at the age of 66, Neil whispering, “I told you so,” into Todd’s ear as they dance together.


End file.
